Kenapa tangkap saya seorang je?

Seorang pemandu telah ditangkap kerana memandu laju.
Pemandu: Kenapa saya sorang je yang kena tangkap? Orang lain pun sama laju ngan saya.
Polis: Pernah memancing?
Pemandu: Pernah.
Polis: Pernah dapat tangkap semua ikan sekali gus?

Mohammed Long ; Chinese Muslim food

We heard about new chinese muslim restaurant opened last 3 month from friends and many gave good reviews on it. So this time we try. Our family lunch usually at 11:30pm.When we arrived it was early and we are the first customer on the day. The owner is a nice malay guy and we had a chit chat with him especially about the restaurant. The food is served hot and partially so it will take your time. His advise is to call(04-5770005), let them know your arriving time and your menu(from their FB page). They also offer food in a package. The food is nice even chinese also came here during our visit.
 
 
Location : No 7, Jalan Dagangan 9, Pusat Bandar Bertam Perdana, Kepala Batas, Penang
 
FB: Mohamed Long, Bertam Perdana :Chinese Muslim Food
 
Operation Hour: 11:30am~3pm; 5pm~11pm
 
Waiting time : 30min (WIFI provided and you should know how to utilise your time)
 
Parking: yes
 
babychair: yes
 
Entertainment: no
 
Toilet: yes
 
Surau : yes
 
Aircond: yes
 
WIFI : yes
 
Credit Card : yes
 
the 1st customer
One of the best Butter squid we had so far
Squid close up
Beef black paper
Baby Kailan with oyster sauce
even the price is same with warung, the rice they use here is from high quality
enjoying the food
We left the restaurant about 12:30pm and at the time, the restaurant is about 90% full.

Lawak: masalah pendengaran

Seorang lelaki berjumpa doctor dan mengadu yg isterinya ada masalah pendengaran.
Dr: Apa kata awak buat simple test. Berdiri 15 langkah dibelakang isteri awak dan cakap "sayang". Kemudian bergerak ke depan 3 langkah lagi dan cakap " sayang" . Teruskan lagi sampai la dia menyahut.
Lelaki: OK.

Sebulan kemudian lelaki tu datang balik ke klinik.

Dr: Dah buat test tu?
Lelaki: Dah.
Dr: Berapa jauh baru isteri awak menyahut.
Lelaki: mmm...bila lagi 3 langkah nak sampai ke dia baru dia menyahut " untuk kali kelimanya saya tanya nak apa?" dengan nada marah.

Lawak: Rahsia kekal sihat

Seorang perempuan ternampak seorang lelaki tua tgh keriangan atas kerusi hayunnya.

Perempuan: Seronoknya tgk pakcik. Apa rahsia pakcik kekal sihat.
Lelaki: Saya merokok 3 pek sehari, makan makan berlemak dan lansung tak senaman.
Perempuan: hebatnya! berapa umur pakcik sekarang?
Lelaki: 26.

Lawak: Pengantin & gaun putih

Perbualan Mak dan anaknya di majlis perkahwinan.

Anak: Kenapa pengantin perempuan tu pakai gaun putih mak?
Mak: Sebab dengan warna putih dia nampak lagi berseri dan hari ni kan hari paling bahagia untuk dia...
Anak: Habis tu kenapa pengantin lelaki pakai kot hitam mak?
Mak: ??